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Tuesday, April 06, 2004

I got me a moon bath on the bed last night -- beautiful big full moon! It made up, almost, for the nasty skies that denied us the vision of the sunset alignment of planets some days ago.

This has not been the best time of my life. I can hardly move my right leg at all, even getting dressed is a hassle. I have developed a trick of going right foot forward, and either dragging the left leg behind or using both hands to lift it where I need it, let's say, into the tub, or outta the tub, up onto the bed, down from the bed, etc. I do my best to fool myself that I am able to continue living a half-way normal life. I made a curtain for my kitchen window. It doesn't match anything around it: it's a vibrant, exotic floral, a little like putting an orchid in a cluttered garage. I am often sitting on my bed, hand-stitching small quilting projects, cutting and designing new projects. It's a mess but it's fun, and I can just flop onto my back with a painkiller and take a nap when the whole situation becomes unbearable. So, despite everything, I am having a good time.

Irene called me two days ago and asked me to make sure I leave her all my sweaters in my will: she wants to think about starting a business with my designs. Nobody does it like me. Sure.

Reading Harsh Betty's recent post and her museum possibilities, I think while I'm about it, writing my will that is, I shall leave her all my boxes of quilting snippets. Hehehe! Maybe also she should get my collection of trolls, and my troll book from Iceland. Maybe that qualifies as "coals to Newcastle"?

I am about ready to make the plunge and go visit a new Urologist. Yuck! I'll have to psych myself into a fun move, a fun mood, like maybe Feng Shui my outfit. . . I did that, some years ago, when my landlord tried to evict me from my apartment. I chose the 5-element destructive cycle method: a blue and green scarf, an orange hooded sweatshirt, black pants, red socks and white shoes. You should have seen me.

You should also have seen the face of the grim landlord's lawyer, in his dull brown suit and earthy matching tie.

"You don't have a lawyer to represent you?" sez he.

I suppose he should be surprised, because there's a four-page foolscap counterclaim in my file, signed by me, in florid simili-legalese, citing chapter and verse and precedents, with footnotes and all, an opus horribilis if ever there was one. It's actually hard to imagine to what lengths I will go when my warped sense of humor kicks in.

"I have you. . ." I answer with my best crooked smile.

"I'm not representing you, I'm the landlord's lawyer," he protests, trying to get it through to me.

"It says on this piece of paper that I have to pay your fees and expenses. If I'm paying you, I think that makes you my lawyer." Still very bright and upbeat (that outfit!).

"Well, I'm not." Firm.

"Well, I certainly am not rich enough, or stupid enough, to pay two lawyers to argue both sides of the case just out of curiosity to see how things might come out. A single lawyer is all I can pay for, and you are IT." Final.

"But I am not here to give you legal advice. . ." he stammers desperately. ("I'm here to evict you!" he might have added. I expect him to scream it out at any moment.)

"Well, don't you think there's a slight conflict of interest there?" I pursue sweetly, "I mean, it's not nice to bite the hand that feeds you -- although my parakeet does it all the time."

I don't actually have a parakeet these days, but I know that nothing distracts like distraction.

Anyway, I rather think that for the new Urologist I shall amuse myself with an outfit of the Six True Colors, or better still, the seven colors of the full spectrum.

In all seriosity, I am gathering up my medical charts etc. I feel like a 21st Century general preparing to go to war with the battle plans of Alexander of Macedonia. Well, let's not exaggerate, maybe just Napoleon's plans for Berezina.

The forsythia is in full bloom on the block. I had to go to the post office yesterday, and the little crab apple trees across the way are in full bloom already. Meanwhile, it is freezing cold and windy, which just goes to show, when it's time for spring, it doesn't matter what the circumstances are, Nature does what it always does, on time and to perfection.

It is Nature's way to encourage us stupid, greedy, angry human beings, who have so messed our nest that even our deep indifference has failed to disguise from ourselves the dire straits we have brought upon our entire world: no matter what it looks like, there needs to be Hope, because Life, and Beauty, and Truth, and yes, Love and Plain Decency, are just bigger and stronger than our manmade chaos.

We must believe in Life, and know it's on its way.
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